Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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