is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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