i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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