I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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