no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize