I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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