We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
