id be glad to
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She even gives head with a lisp.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
