I hate your face
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's official drugs can't kill me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
