They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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