Having a random hookup so left but love u
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
