ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
