shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
