he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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