people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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