Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
