Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
