I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
