I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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