You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
