im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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