There was a lot of him and a little penis
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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