I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
