You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
