Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
