People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
