Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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