So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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