What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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