is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
