My Higher Power is John Stamos
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
