that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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