Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
