I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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