she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
