normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
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I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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