took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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