Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
