Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
