I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
