I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
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i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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