We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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