i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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