you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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