and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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