so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
