Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
