Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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