Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
