Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
