can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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