Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
