Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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