If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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