If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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