things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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