So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
