he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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