Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
