Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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