I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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