its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
