in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
