So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize